Please, let me fuck your mom
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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