oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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