Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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