Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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