Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
