Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
