Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i permit you to call me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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