I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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