absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
