Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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