But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
