I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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