Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just want to make out with him forever
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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