Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
how does that bad decision feel?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
