we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
