I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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