I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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