is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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