Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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