Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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