he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
