Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I love having hate sex.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize