Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How external is "for external use only"?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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