Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i've created a new STD.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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