Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
