I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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