Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
