Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize