Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize