You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
