I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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