If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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