Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
