So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize