It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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