so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Randomize
