He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize