Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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