your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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