I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
