SEEEEXXX PLEASE
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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