idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
