so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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