I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
