Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
