you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
