i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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