24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize