dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
