An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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