Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
