Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize