The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
