you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize