ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize