what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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