In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
