I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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