You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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