So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
