I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
