I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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