i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
