Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
