My sheets look like a crime scene.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
